Standing

by Carolyn Thorn

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about

"It's not the end, it's the grand finale, of sorts."

After a continuously long battle between post-college finances, free time, and overall maturity, Carolyn Thorn decided to kickstart a lifelong dream and record this EP. Discussing with Jay Levin over eggs one fine weekend, Thorn brought and played 30 songs to Turtle Studios. After much thought and choice, Thorn and Ross Bellenoit began the musical process. Within one weekend, the first of 2016, Thorn Ross, and Daniel Bower began playing and recorded the songs. Oh, and it was fun.

The songs chosen fit together in a way that shows off a process of growth in a human. From the echoes of loneliness, overall insecurity within themselves, and desire in "Fire," to the battle sounds of a need for confidence in "Joan of Arc," to whimsical heartbreak in "Roll Along," and repairing the self in "Standing," to the resounding battle of indecision of belonging alone or together found in "The End," please take time to listen to the lyrics, vocal color, story, and music.

Thanks for being a part of this musical journey. It's only the beginning.
~ct

credits

released February 24, 2017

Words and music by Carolyn Thorn

Carolyn Thorn - vocals, guitar, ukulele
Ross Bellenoit - guitar, bass guitar, keyboards, percussion, vocals
Daniel Bower - drums
Sarah Williams Larson-vocals
Sonja Bontrager- vocals
Rosaleen McGill- vocals
Dawn Hiatt- vocals

Recorded and mixed by Jeff Hiatt
Mastered by Rob Shaffer
Recorded and mixed at Turtle Studios, Philadelphia

Photo by Rachel Del Sordo
Recording, lyrics and artwork ©2016 Carolyn Thorn

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about

Carolyn Thorn Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Carolyn Thorn is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, songwriter on guitar, ukulele, and piano. She writes her own music and sounds like Ingrid Michaelson, Janis Joplin, Regina Spektor, and Alanis Morissette. In her spare time she runs while consuming mass amounts of leafy greens and caffeinated beverages. She is a Temple University Boyer College of Music and Dance graduate in Music Therapy. ... more

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Track Name: Fire
It’s survival of the fittest and so fit I will 'cause I’m afraid of my own company.

Everything’s a little loud right now and I feel like I only stand out.
It’s alarming how this feeling can bring us down.

But you own what’s in your head, mistaken memories are long time dead.
Ignite my fire. Find this desire again.

It’s the justifying all I do that can make me feel so blue.
There’s only peace that I find when I’m with you.

But you own what’s in your head, each fleeting thought you can't forget.
Ignite my fire. Find this desire again.

But you own what’s in your head, obvious feelings that are left unsaid.
Ignite my fire. Find this desire again.

It’s a mystifying component to find the strength in clarity.
When I get there, I’ll find there’s more to me.
Track Name: Joan of Arc
Sometimes I get drunk and enjoy flossing my white teeth.
I like feeling control and being cleanly.
Sometimes I get high and take showers for far too long,
Just so I can rearrange the words to my own song.

Sometimes I take myself far too seriously.
'Cause I get stuck in my own thoughts of me.
But if I was Joan of Arc,
I wouldn't be afraid.
I wouldn't be afraid of anything.

Sometimes I like to hide my head into a book
Just so no one can see the direction of my look.
Sometimes I like too run far and fast and strong,
Just so I can feel the pain of all that I've done wrong.

Sometimes I take myself far too seriously.
'Cause I get stuck in my own thoughts of me.
But if I was Joan of Arc,
I wouldn't be afraid
I wouldn't be afraid of anything.

But if I was Joan of Arc,
I wouldn't be afraid.
I wouldn't be afraid of anything.

I teach myself to let the world see who I am,
'Cause I'm afraid of that.
But if I was Joan of Arc,
I wouldn't be afraid.
I wouldn't be afraid of everything.

Sometimes I let my mind go faster than my words,
'Cause I've been stung by bees but never by the birds.
But if I was Joan of Arc,
I wouldn't be afraid.
I wouldn't be afraid of anything.
Track Name: Roll Along
I’ve been trying to be human. I’ve been trying to be me.
It’s been hours since I called you and I can’t tell if it’s you or me.

But these days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my arms all the chains I have filled.
These days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my heart all the walls I have built.

I’ve been trying to let go of the weight that I show.
I’ve been trying to move on from the demons that oceans my mind.

But these days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my arms all the chains I have filled.
These days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my heart all the walls I have rebuilt.

I will not surrender what I hear inside.
I will not break down, break up with myself this time.

Cause I’ve been trying to be human. I've been trying to be me.
It's been days since I told you what it is that is really me.

Cause these days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my arms all the chains I’ve filled.
These days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my heart all the walls I have rebuilt.
These days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my arms all the chains I’ve filled.
These days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my heart all the walls I have rebuilt.
These days roll along as time stands still.
I hold in my heart all the walls I have rebuilt.
Track Name: Standing
You look like you’ve been through hell, well I’ve been stuck down aisle nine.
Plunging in the wishing well, as we’re all pretending to be fine.

Sidestepping through demons won’t you do it for yourself,
So you’ll be the last one standing.

Lift me up when I am weak for I follow incompletely.
Trying to define through the past, well look at where we’re at now and

You’ll be the last one, be the last one standing.
You'll be the last one, be the last one standing.

Stuck twisting through the emotions of another jumbled word,
twisted thoughts through the sounds that you never quite heard.
The fact is we’re all going through some sort of pain
but now you’ll see who’s the last one,
Standing.

You will be the last one, be the last one standing.
You'll be the last one, be the last one standing.

Friends are hard to come by these days so wrap them in your coat.
I’m counting them all but they're not adding up.
These walls we built are padded like our overcoats.

And you’ll be the last one, be the last one standing.
You'll be the last one, be the last one standing.
You'll be the last one, be the last one standing.
You'll be the last one, be the last one standing.
Track Name: The End
Push on my chest and let me finally sob.
I'm thankful I'm like a Pez dispenser of tears.
Waiting in lines is something time couldn't rob-
The memory of a blurry long ass year.

I want to wake with the certainty of ten thousand men-
The unwavering devotion to see it through to the end.

Frozen in time, you've stopped my heart again.
I have no other plans except to hold your hand.
Waiting in lines, scratching lists with my pen-
A strong contender cause this happy had to end.

I want to walk with the confidence of a mediocre man-
leaving me with the feeling like I'm my only biggest fan.

It's not the end, it's the grand finale of sorts.
It's not the end until you give back my broken parts.
It's not the end, it's the grand finale of sorts,.
It's not the end until you give me back my broken heart.

I want to walk with the confidence of a mediocre man-
the unwavering devotion to see it through to the end.
Cause I'm my only biggest fan,
To see it through to the end.